Nano NovEmber: Day 4 - On Offer, Talking Gnomes

This is day 4 of Nano NovEmber. See day 1 on what this is all about.

Prompt: The gnomes in your garden just won’t shut up.

The gnomes in my garden just won’t shut up.

I got them as a gift for my mother a few months ago. I was browsing online for garden gnomes and found a cheap set that had the title “Gnomes, variety set that will start conversations." I thought that meant from people passing by: mother’s quite pleased with her garden. But when we discovered that the gnomes are the ones that will converse, my mother told me to take them back.

So, now I’m stuck with them. And they’re a chatty bunch. They talk to the birds that visit the garden (the birds don’t respond), they talk to each other about my flowers and parched veggie patch. They’re not afraid to comment on my lacking gardening skills every single time I leave the house to go to work. And when I get back, I get stuck talking with them for 10 minutes about our days. I tried ignoring them once, but they hold grudges too, and have the cheek to yell at me during the night, keeping me awake.

So, I’m begging you: please, take them off my hands. Let me know how much you want for them.